Coping through Tough Times

You're having a hard time and you don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe you want to be better prepared to deal with future challenges.

Different types of coping strategies

Coping strategies can be both positive and negative. For example, if you’re going through a tough time, a negative way of coping is to use drugs or alcohol to ‘numb the pain’. This kind of coping may provide a quick fix, but often it will make things worse in the long run. Choosing positive coping strategies, like the ones listed below, will help you to manage and reduce stress in a way that won’t be harmful in the long term.

Try to view setbacks and struggles as an experience for growth. Each event is an opportunity; listen and understand it's message, then let it go.

Finding the right coping strategies

Here are some ways to find the best coping strategies for you:

• Write a list of the types of situations that you find difficult to manage.

• When a stressful situation arises, try one of the strategies listed below.

• Keep notes on how it went – which things worked and which didn’t.

You’ll probably find that some strategies work better than others in reducing your stress and helping you to manage. This may depend on the particular situation. With each experience or challenge you face, figure out which strategies work well for you, and which situations favor certain strategies over others.

Coping strategies to try

• Write down how you’re feeling. This can really help to clarify things when you’re feeling strong emotions. Write in a journal and keep it handy, so that you can look back at what you’ve written.

• Consider the big picture. When you’re going through a stressful situation, ask yourself: ‘How important is this? Will it matter in the long run?’

• Learn to forgive. Move on from hurt, regret and anger. Whether you’re angry at yourself or someone else, it doesn’t help to hold on to negative feelings such as resentment.

• Hone your communication skills. If you know how to communicate clearly, it will help prevent a problem occurring or a conflict escalating. It could also help eliminate the initial cause of the stress.

• Practice gratitude. Take five minutes each day to identify three things that you’re truly grateful for, not thankful, but grateful. Write them down so you can look at your gratitude lists when you’re feeling down. What you are truly grateful for you will not fear.

What you can do for yourself

• Priorities self-care. Exercise, meditate, listen to music – or whatever it is that makes you feel good - even if it’s just for five minutes a day.

• Take time out from situations that make you feel stressed or angry. End the conversation, leave the room for a moment, and don’t resume talking until you feel calm and ready.

• Use positive self-talk to overcome negative thought patterns.

• Reduce your load. Sometimes you just have to accept that you can’t do everything, we are human. Make a list of the things you need to accomplish, and adjust your schedule according to how you feel each day.