Dear Teenage Daughter

Dear Daughter, This has been the fastest 13 years of my life. You are my first-born. The child that made me a mom. You are the one that blessed me with my first pregnancy. The one who I cried inconsolably when I went back to work when you were only 1 month old. You were the one who at 2 years old (when I asked you to hold my hand across the street), told me without hesitation, “I hold my own hand!” :) Nobody ever told me that parenting was going to be so tough yet so beautifully rewarding. I feel every emotion that you experience by a ten-fold. Every scrape/bruise and surgery, every victory, every heartache. It was exactly like I was told,

“having a child is like having your heart beat outside of your body.”

I am not perfect and have made many mistakes. I wish I hadn't yelled at you so much. I wish I had been patient early on. I wish I was less worried and more present in the moment. I wish I could take back all of those moments I was stressed with work or with life, and take a pause and just hug you. I hope I do show you that what you say is important to me, and I really do care.

All of those moments though, the good, the bad and the difficult, have uniquely shaped who you are.

I am sure I will continue to indulge you in ways that I probably should not. Please know that I will also be true to my boundaries; and tough when needed, and that you will not always like me. You will want to scream at me. It will be okay. I will still love you. You will not know it at the time, but I will tell you “no” because it is best for you. I know you get embarrassed of me in public for laughing too loud or talking to people too much. That’s OK. I felt the same way with my mom. I now admire her for those sweet things, and maybe you will too one day.

You will have only five more years until you are considered an adult. These are magical, formative years. You will learn to drive a car, enter into high school, earn your first official taxable dollar, make lots of new friends. You will not understand why some people are mean to you. That’s okay. It will have nothing to do with you. Be open-minded, emphatic, forgive easily, and most important Learn yourself and always believe in yourself. While doing that, also accept change. Sometimes life will be hard, but you will persevere. Don’t ever give your self-respect away. No boy is worth losing yourself for. Here is the catch:

you are in control of how much these pressures play in your life, and how much you will allow them to direct the path you are on.

Think for yourself. Trust your intuition. You are smart, and you know what’s right – let that be what guides you. No boy or girl deserves to control, influence or direct how you should live your life. That’s my job! Just kidding... or am I?!Be open to the suggestions from those that you trust, as they may see things in you that you can not see in yourself.

• So listen carefully

• Try not to let it hurt

• Process their advice for yourself

• You make the ultimate decision on it.

You come from a long line of wonderful women. We are nurturing, open minded, brave, tenacious, and most important -

We are imperfect. Imperfect is your superpower, no one is you.

You also have the most supportive, amazing men in your life that you can always count on when you need. Your father, brother, uncles, grandfathers...they all want the best for you. Learn to love your own company. You are fun to be with, so embrace being OK with being alone. Yours is the only company you will have every minute of every day for the rest of your life, so learn to love time spent with yourself. Continue to love reading and learning. Don’t let technology replace your love of stories and life. And please remember not to compare your life, your body or your beauty to other people just because they have more likes, followers or thumbs up. Write your own story. Let your own light shine... Learn to surround yourself with good people to help you through those times when you need someone besides yourself to be your cheerleader.

Hard work, emotional pain, tough conversations and feeling vulnerable are all things that will make you sweeter, wiser, and more aware.

When it hurts -

• Observe and listen, life is trying to teach you something.

• Learn to take those setbacks as lessons, then release your pain.

• Remain soft at heart, don’t let the world turn you hard. Don’t let the pain make you hate.

Happy birthday my sweet, strong girl. I know you want to hang out with your friends at Starbucks today. As hard as it is for me not worry about you when you are out of my sight, I am going to let you go. This is uncharted territory for both of us, thank you for being patient with me while I learn along the way. Welcome to your teens! Love, Mom :) The aftermath of the celebration...